Why Is There Meanness? Why Do Kids Say Mean Things?

We are starting to get to the heart of our problem: Why do kids say mean things. At Morning Meeting, we read the list of mean things on our board. We have a lot of data! After reading the list, Tamara asked the Why question. The Turtles started to think about it. Here are some of their ideas:
"Because people don't want to be anyone's friends. They really want to be some other kid's friend. They only want the other kid to come to their houses."
"Because some people don't want to be best friends. Because what he said, because people don't want to come to houses."
"Because they are mean to other friends."
"They think in their heads that they want to be mean.
"Because they think they are going to say something mean to them."
"The mean things are because people don't like each other."
It seems like the Turtles are trying to figure out this meanness thing. Right now, they are very good at thinking about it as outside themselves, but it doesn't seem like they are yet thinking about the mean things that they have done. It seems difficult to talk about what happens just before the meanness, to understand what might cause the meanness. We will continue to push on this idea of why there might be meanness.
The teachers have also noticed some changes taking place in the class around problem solving and meanness. There seems to be much less tolerance for meanness, and participates and bystanders alike are much more likely to call out meanness when they hear it. Sometimes just in the process of labeling words or actions as mean, there is change created in the situation, for instance when a child does not want to be told they are doing something mean, they will rectify the situation. Other times, the children are quicker to get help when they encounter a problem. It is exciting to notice the slow subtle shifts that are happening as  the Turtles wrestle with this problem!

Other activities today:

rearranging the classroom

celebrating a baseball birthday

making bags for our Valentines

building magnatiles together in the newly enlarged Block Area
(they are figuring out that if they work together,  they can make GIANT towers)

snuggling in our re-located Cozy Box

freeze dance with Missy

jump rope tricks

football, soccer, and soft blocks

stamps

playing in the snow